Monday 4 April 2011

Sinister thoughts......

Thoughts are what turn into ideas and ultimately actions.....
"I think, therefore I am"

Whats in a thought?
Early morning the alarm goes off , you are woken up from a surreal state that turns into consciousness bit by bit. In between that consciousness and the hangover of dreams and a blissful sleep there must have been myriad emotions and ideas that would have fleeted by. your sub conscious must have had a deep affair and your rising consciousness must have flirted with ten crafted , fantastic explorations of your mind at an average. Yet, if I tell you to recollect a single thought that you had as you stepped out of your bed, you would vaguely remember. Unless of course you were prepared for an eventful day ahead and you woke up with the thought that you had taken to your bed last night.

Once in a while we have given into the luxury of aimless pondering, your colleagues new shoes, the bosses' new affair, the pompous next door neighbor's new car and the itching desire to gift him a new dent with it. Seemingly innocuous little devils. and then the more serious ones that start with a 'what if'.........
"what if if call him and ask ?", "what if i spy on her?", "what if I'm able to lure him with this deal?".....and then varying degrees of imagination concoct varying doubts and dilemmas.

We all know that some of our dark fantasies bite dust even as we are trying to give them a conclusive ending. then what could deter us from thinking of a sin.... "thou shall not think???????"...hell is that even a commandment??
But lets say there is a fervent thought that like an apparition re appears at the slightest rekindling and nudges us from within to give in. then would we try to reign that thumping thought. have you ever been successful in taming your rebellious, robust outlaw thinking.?
IN fact whenever you have set the thou shall not think barrier, you have conspired with the enemy, and have been taken in and engulfed by a force of an exponential magnitude.
Its as simple as it could be, to drift the sin away be insensitive to the fact that it is a sin, a forbidden territory. For it lies within the errant human tendencies to flow opposite to the current in the stubbornness arising from our own Ego and sometimes the curiosity to dive if not dwell on the darkes side.


Friday 1 April 2011

Suicidal tendencies......

...Where is your life headed?
..Towards death

No, it s not that i enjoy infusing macabre thoughts into people's brain but the truth can not be ignored. Death is the most faithful of all chances we have in life. It would never deceive us perennially unlike a spring summer passion or  a serendipitous event . With all calculations and all the observations to the experiment called life there's a standard end result...'Death'.
 The spontaneity with which the event shall strike us is so stark and yet remains so subdued in the hope of life. amusing!!
Yet more amusing is the fact that in the hope of life we assimilate all the paraphernalia that takes us till the very end of it, sometimes willingly but most of the times unknowingly . If you are perplexed by the thought then a glint at all the routines of an ordinary, less than ordinary or an extra ordinary life would elucidate the statement quite effectively. All things desired or undesired , needed or wanted take us to our last breath in one way or the other. Love,hate, money ,sex,work, idleness,leisure, travel, passion , pessimism, success, failure . Could you think of a way of life that would not risk life?
We all have suicidal tendencies ........ we all devise our own plans for dieing , driven by an external force or an internal consciousness.

Here's a confession, I once contemplated suicide or the thought of it a long time back but did not have the quintessential . So like most people I'm waiting till the time when i have enough reason and devises to meet my end. till then.
 it's a deal with life ;)
PS: this is not a theory but a confession....I do not argue on experiences. Ideas are debatable...not emotions.