Love Triangles

The king , the princess and the knight.........

I haven't really dived into the recent romances that have appeared in print, (though i confess to being a die hard romantic and have had my share of classic love stories as a teenager which was pretty recent). it is just that I would rather invest my precious reading time in discovering the realms of philosophy, history or some political drama , and if knowledge is not the pursuit of my reading then it has to be the sheer beauty of the work that inspires me to appreciate it by reading it further. Not that their haven't been some great romances in the recent times, in fact both the Hollywood and the Indian film industry continuously supply us with chick flicks and rom coms that capture the effervescent love with a so called fresh perspective and that's precisely the reason why reading one doesn't really seem like an appealing idea.

Anyhow the absolute girl inside often emerges and takes her share of space in my mind from the practical head that I always think of myself as. so recently when i happened to stumble upon a book in my younger siblings closet I couldn't help but flip a few pages, by the review it seemed like a regular for our generation, a teen drama entangles in a fantastic fable mixed with plenty of supernatural elements . I realized that it had also been turned into a series which was quite a hit with all my female friends at college. moreover the cover was not really ominous with tell tale signs of unbridled passion and it seemed to be a good frivolous read. I admit with  a slight discomfort that I had followed the Twilight Saga with an interest that would be termed deeper than the superficial curiosity that I had feigned while buying the first copy.Thus while reading a book that seemed to be on similar lines I could not help but draw a parallel between the two. other than the supernatural mumbo jumbo what i found common to the two was 'a love triangle'.a complicated relationship that was between the protagonists . substantial characters entwined in an emotional mess along with the supernatural clutter.I really thought that originality had come to an end not just with those who write but even those who lap up the same old wine in a new bottle.I scoffed with an intellectual's pride over the masses taste for fresh ideas and originality or the lack of it.

Later that week in the quest of a more insightful reading experience, I started reading a best seller by one of my favourite bestselling author. he also mentioned the concept of multiple soul mates and after a certain point the whole story seemed to revolve around the theory. (sic)
here I should mention at the risk of sounding a little orthodox (I don't really believe that though, I feel like I'm one of the fantastic characters from a fable who are rare to keep the sanctity of a belief in a skewed world :p)
that I still believe in the concept of one true love and there is this strong need to belong to a single person and have an unadulterated love with a deep and lasting meaning.

I was pretty disturbed at this strange phenomena of triangles all around me.the fact that one of my friends confided into me about one of her personal experiences of the same sort and that the author whom i revered for his works also corroborated the multiple soul mates theory was of no help.
so for the next few days i snuggled into my comfort with a few old classics, and took respite that Austen, who had been quite a rebel for her times justified my view to an extent... one life,one love :)
but then it seemed even classics had to mess with my ideas, I discovered Camelot, the tale where King Arthur shares the princess with the valiant knight Lancelot.....no running away from clandestine affairs ..sigh : /

the other day , I sat with a cuppa with the dear friend of mine and she asked a question quite nonchalantly, just the random discussion you have with your girlfriends, that make no sense, just like that.

the question was a hypothetical situation in which I had a choice of saving any one from my friend and my lover from a possible life threatening situation. stupid stuff, I answered nonchalantly with an equally stupid answer, that seeing both in such a situation, the faint hearted person that I am I might just beat em both to the gates of hell .
later I thought about it and realized that it was quite a dilemma, they both meant the world to me and secretly I prayed that i would never have to chose.

that's when I realized that the multiple soul mate theory might just have some substance.There can exist a few triangles or even squares, pentagons and all possible polygons. I still wont jump into an illicit affair, though I might just be a part of a triangle already.;)

SO here I am sitting with a book that seems to be headed in the same direction and I would just sit back and smile wryly as I read it till the end .......(wink wink).

Sinister thoughts......

Thoughts are what turn into ideas and ultimately actions.....
"I think, therefore I am"

Whats in a thought?
Early morning the alarm goes off , you are woken up from a surreal state that turns into consciousness bit by bit. In between that consciousness and the hangover of dreams and a blissful sleep there must have been myriad emotions and ideas that would have fleeted by. your sub conscious must have had a deep affair and your rising consciousness must have flirted with ten crafted , fantastic explorations of your mind at an average. Yet, if I tell you to recollect a single thought that you had as you stepped out of your bed, you would vaguely remember. Unless of course you were prepared for an eventful day ahead and you woke up with the thought that you had taken to your bed last night.

Once in a while we have given into the luxury of aimless pondering, your colleagues new shoes, the bosses' new affair, the pompous next door neighbor's new car and the itching desire to gift him a new dent with it. Seemingly innocuous little devils. and then the more serious ones that start with a 'what if'.........
"what if if call him and ask ?", "what if i spy on her?", "what if I'm able to lure him with this deal?".....and then varying degrees of imagination concoct varying doubts and dilemmas.

We all know that some of our dark fantasies bite dust even as we are trying to give them a conclusive ending. then what could deter us from thinking of a sin.... "thou shall not think???????"...hell is that even a commandment??
But lets say there is a fervent thought that like an apparition re appears at the slightest rekindling and nudges us from within to give in. then would we try to reign that thumping thought. have you ever been successful in taming your rebellious, robust outlaw thinking.?
IN fact whenever you have set the thou shall not think barrier, you have conspired with the enemy, and have been taken in and engulfed by a force of an exponential magnitude.
Its as simple as it could be, to drift the sin away be insensitive to the fact that it is a sin, a forbidden territory. For it lies within the errant human tendencies to flow opposite to the current in the stubbornness arising from our own Ego and sometimes the curiosity to dive if not dwell on the darkes side.

Suicidal tendencies......

...Where is your life headed?
..Towards death

No, it s not that i enjoy infusing macabre thoughts into people's brain but the truth can not be ignored. Death is the most faithful of all chances we have in life. It would never deceive us perennially unlike a spring summer passion or  a serendipitous event . With all calculations and all the observations to the experiment called life there's a standard end result...'Death'.
 The spontaneity with which the event shall strike us is so stark and yet remains so subdued in the hope of life. amusing!!
Yet more amusing is the fact that in the hope of life we assimilate all the paraphernalia that takes us till the very end of it, sometimes willingly but most of the times unknowingly . If you are perplexed by the thought then a glint at all the routines of an ordinary, less than ordinary or an extra ordinary life would elucidate the statement quite effectively. All things desired or undesired , needed or wanted take us to our last breath in one way or the other. Love,hate, money ,sex,work, idleness,leisure, travel, passion , pessimism, success, failure . Could you think of a way of life that would not risk life?
We all have suicidal tendencies ........ we all devise our own plans for dieing , driven by an external force or an internal consciousness.

Here's a confession, I once contemplated suicide or the thought of it a long time back but did not have the quintessential . So like most people I'm waiting till the time when i have enough reason and devises to meet my end. till then.
 it's a deal with life ;)
PS: this is not a theory but a confession....I do not argue on experiences. Ideas are debatable...not emotions.